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The pain is terrible.
The fear of death cripples my mind.
Where are my feelings?
I don’t recognize myself.

I regret!
My life was not a scourge of love.
My own fault, my own missteps.
Selfishness I could do without –
Selfishness that ruined my life.
The material took over.
That’s not who I am.

I see myself.
My life became a burden to many.
When does fear take me to death?

Will I meet my soul at the door,
Can I defend my missteps,
Can I defend my selfishness,
towards the people I have added to my burden?

Forgive me!
I didn’t know what I was doing –
I didn’t know life.
Pray for me.
Give me the love that I didn’t give.
It scares me to death!
A death struggle I would do without.

I do not deserve your prayers,
I don’t deserve your love.
I see a door open.

Farewell, my friends.
If I may call you my friends —
in this forgiving moment.
I didn’t know any better.
The knowledge of death, of life –
Taking personal responsibility were words I did not hear from the priest in our church.

Believe in me, and you are forgiven –
The knowledge came to me in the death struggle.
I see myself.
My own self.
Death’s body is abandoned.

Munch in the spirit,
Communicated from the Spirit World – July 5, 2022
Translated from Norwegian – Dødskamp

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